Welcome to Lost All Hope. I’m sorry you are here reading this, but glad you have come across a site that is filled with information and resources designed to help people thinking of committing suicide.
People who are depressed and thinking of committing suicide often feel alone, isolated, hopeless; that the world will be a better place without them, and no-one will miss them. Well, you are not alone, because there are around 20 million attempted suicides every year (see Suicide statistics). Probably around 160m every year who have serious thoughts of committing suicide. So there are many, many people feeling just like you do now.
And whilst this might not make you feel better, perhaps be reassured that out of those 160m who think about committing suicide, only 0.6% of them actually do. So for 99.4% of people, their feelings of desperation reduce enough for them not to try and kill themselves. However you feel right now, a bit more reading before committing suicide can’t do any harm, so I would really urge to read Help me, especially Surviving today.
Possibly like you, for a number of years, I frequently spent time trawling the internet researching ways of killing myself. Feel free to read My story. I thought I had the means all sorted out. My will and financial affairs were in order. All I needed was something to push me over the edge. One day that thing happened. I really expected my suicide attempt to work. I was very disappointed when it didn’t.
Years later I put together this site. In doing so I researched suicide forums, books, blogs, newsgroups and websites. I am no longer surprised I failed. Because the more I read, the more I see how many ways there are to screw up killing yourself. The research would point to painless suicide being the problem. People that hang themselves, shoot themselves, throw themselves off the top of a building or cliff, don’t seem to engage in so much chat about how to do it.
The people who discuss suicide the most, think about it for the longest time, attempt suicide the most, yet fail suicide most often, are those looking for peaceful and painless methods to go. This site was designed to help people thinking of killing themselves. That help might consist of informing of the dangers of particular methods. And there are, many dangers, in many methods. They aren’t on this site to dishearten you, or overwhelm you with information, it is just the facts. A successful, painless suicide takes a lot of research and preparation. And, if you read as much information as I have, you will realise it does take effort.
The help on this site might also consist of more practical advice, like that contained in Help me and Addressing the problem. Please have a good look around. My own experience was that it took a lot of trial, error and persistence to find something that made a difference to me. But that doesn’t mean that help is not possible.
I understand that people visiting this site feel hopeless. I really do know how that feels. And in that place it is hard to believe anything will ever get better. I was always prone to cutting myself off from people. If I did speak to people, I never told them how I felt. Not how I really, really felt. Who could possibly want to put up with someone who felt so miserable and hopeless?
I read in my research that speaking to someone was very powerful, and noticed there are all these suicide helplines. Who really wants to speak to some helpline when you want to kill yourself? What good will that do? Nine years later I learnt how much difference speaking to someone can make. Do not underestimate the power of truly expressing how you feel. It can be massive. It can be hard, but for reasons I can’t explain, really beneficial.
So, if you can reach out to someone, and somehow express what you really, really feel – do it. If you can’t reach out to a friend, then almost every country has some sort of suicide helpline. Speak to somebody. If speaking makes no difference then you have only lost the time it takes to make a phone call. Links to the main suicide helplines are below, and further information on these and other helplines is in Links.
Befrienders Worldwide (operating in 39 countries): www.befrienders.org
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 1-800-273-8255
The Samaritans (UK): www.samaritans.org 08457 90 90 90
Lifeline (Australia): www.lifeline.org.au 13 11 14